Declutter your schedule: How to make more time
For those of you who receive my monthly newsletter, this month I had some thoughts on decluttering my time in preparation for summer. (If you didn’t get it, what’s wrong with you?! Sign up here and also get my 5 Non-Negotiable Rules for an Organized Home!).
As I continue to hear how summer’s are filling up fast, and evenings are filled with kid’s activities and sleepovers, I wanted to delve a little deeper into how, exactly, to declutter your calendar. Just like decluttering your stuff, it doesn’t happen all at once. It is an ongoing practice, not a one-time project. But once you free up some space in your day and learn to embrace the down time, you find that the “empty” spaces can fill your heart and nurture your soul.
“Busy is a choice, not an excuse.”
Another organizer who specializes in productivity said this to me once and the words smacked me upside the head with their truth. We all have the same number of hours in a day. How we fill them is up to us. Whether it's enrolling our kids in more activities, participating in social events, working longer hours, or skipping a workout to binge watch season 3 of Bridgerton (✋) our choices shape our schedules and routines, and our schedules and routines shape our moods and productivity. You don't need to defend your choices but you do need to live with them. What are they costing you? Money? Relaxation? Sleep? Opportunities? When you start seeing everything as a choice with consequences, decisions become easier.
So how do you stop overbooking and start choosing less? Read on…
Step 1: Identify your priority.
The word “priority” came into the English language in the 1400s, to mean the one most important thing above all others. It wasn’t until the 20th century that its plural, “priorities,” started to be used. This is often seen as a reflection of our modern lives and the glamorization of a full-to-the-brim schedule. But if everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.
For me and my husband (and probably most parents) our priority is our family. Overseeing and encouraging our children’s well-being is the most important thing. That doesn’t mean that every moment of the day is devoted to them. We both have jobs which provide an income to sustain our lifestyle. We discipline them and set boundaries so they can learn valuable life lessons. And we take time to ourselves so that we can rest and recharge to be the best parents we can be. When faced with a choice as to how to fill our time, knowing our family is number one puts the choice into perspective.
Identify your driving force; your priority. When faced with a decision about how to use your time, dial in on how the decision will affect your priority, and let that be your guide.
Step 2: Review your calendar and determine the ROI (Return on Investment) of your commitments.
Take a look at everything you have going on. How many of those activities excite you? What lifts you up and supports your priority? If there are scheduled obligations that you’re not looking forward to, ask yourself “what is the consequence if I skip this?”. Not everything is going to be 100% fun 100% of the time, but if you identify the return on investment of your time, you may start to see the activity in a new light.
Some of your relationships and commitments are deeply valuable. Others may be more obligatory. Be honest with yourself and think critically about what each offers. It’s not always clear-cut. While something might not be your idea of a good time, it might offer you valuable networking opportunities which advance your career. Maybe an unavoidable gathering gives you a chance to demonstrate manners and grace to your children. If you cannot find any value in a scheduled event, it’s probably something you shouldn’t have committed to.
Step 3: Learn to say no, or at least “I’ll get back to you.”
Protect your time by being selective about new commitments. Just because someone is excited about an event, doesn’t mean you need to be, or that it supports the values of your lifestyle. Our culture has a serious case of FOMO, exacerbated by social media and the constant need to show-and-tell the world what we’re doing. Is the short burst of oxytocin you get from saying yes, worth feeling anxious and burnt out? It’s okay to take a moment to consider before agreeing to something.
Step 4: Be clear on your family’s agenda and activities.
For as long as I can remember, my mom has had a paper day planner which acts as the end-all-be-all of what is going on. Whenever we would ask to do something, her response was always “go check my calendar.” My husband and I have shared Google calendars, color coded by each of our work events, kids events, and personal commitments.
Avoiding last-minute scrambles or miscommunications is essential to keeping your time safe and tidy. Keeping organized calendars, open communication, and avoiding assumptions about one another’s time is not only respectful to your partner, but will help you both to feel a semblance of control over your shared time and priorities.
Step 5: Schedule time to do nothing.
I doubt anyone would argue that self-care is essential to our mental and physical well being. That being said, studies continue to show that most people (myself included!) don’t make time for their well being. A 2023 study found 46% of Americans who are offered paid time off didn't use it. Another found over half of mothers felt guilty about taking time to do something for themselves. I know when I am feeling overwhelmed, the first thing I cut is exercise, despite knowing I feel better when I am regularly active.
Give your own needs the same importance you would to your co-workers or family’s. Schedule some time to do what you love and Don't. Give. It. Up. Having plans to do nothing are still plans. The old "put your oxygen mask on first" metaphor is over-used for a reason. If that early morning run/ hour of quiet reading time/ pickleball lesson/ comfort rewatch of Glee/ etc. is what you need to feel recharged, don’t feel guilty rearranging the schedule to make it happen!
Try to catch yourself next time you start to complain about how busy you are. By recognizing that every commitment is a choice, setting clear priorities, and making time for what truly matters, you can declutter your schedule and live a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Further reading:
How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis: This book came to me at a time when I desperately needed to hear the author's message of self-compassion. Davis breaks down household chores, helping you decide what is serving you and what is not, to free up time at home and create a home management system that works for you.
The Happiness Project and Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin: Rubin’s thoughts on productivity and prioritization have always given me insight and motivation to simplify my home and my life.
Lightly by Francine Jay: Minimalist Francine Jay starts out with the decluttering of objects - recognizing the time and money your possessions are costing you. With the burden of stuff lifted, she then goes into techniques to do less, unschedule, unplug, and lighten your spirit.