Less Is More: How To Become A Minimalist
People hear the term “minimalist” and think of a stark, empty home with no color or warmth. Or they envision tiny-home living – a couple hundred square feet for all your belongings, where your toilet tucks under your dining room table and you are limited to one set of utensils. Both evoke feelings of deprivation, loss, and scarcity, and most people think “that’s not for me.” Even if it was, how could you possibly live a minimalist lifestyle with kids, a partner, pets, junk mail, laundry, and hobbies?
Rather than thinking of minimalism as “empty,” try thinking about it as “space.” Space to keep things we love; space to spread out and have a family meal; space to lounge around on Saturday and do crafts, or space in our schedule to casually meet a friend for lunch.
Living a minimalist lifestyle puts you in control of possessions. It restores function and potential to your home and your schedule. It means your house and your possessions exist to support and serve you, rather than taking up time and energy. It means you spend less time cleaning and organizing, and more time doing what you love!
How do we get there? Organizing is great, but organizing too much stuff is like a dog chasing its tail. Everything you own, even when neatly arranged, costs you time. We have to cultivate a minimalist mindset in order to reclaim our space and our schedules.
A minimalist mindset is like going to the gym. You can go every day, learn the moves, lose the weight, and get fit and strong, but if you stop working out, you will not stay that way for long. Instead of looking for a short term solution, we need to make a long term commitment to changing the way we interact with our things.
I am not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s possible. Nothing works unless you do and we all experience unique challenges in our lives. But these steps will work for any person at any stage of their decluttering journey who is willing to do some introspection and self-talk. So open your mind to opening your home, and start living with less.
Change your mindset
A generally accepted definition of a “home", according to ChatGPT is “a place where you feel safe, comfortable, and at ease—a sanctuary that reflects your identity and supports your lifestyle. It goes beyond just a physical structure; it’s where memories are created, connections are fostered, and life happens.” No where does it mention feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or constantly digging yourself out from under a neverending list of maintenance.
To achieve success you must prepare your mindset for change. This is a two-part challenge:
The first step, much like Marie Kondo’s Kon-mari method, is to envision the life you want. There is a reason she is one of the most influential figures in the organizing and decluttering movement. What does your perfect home look like? How does it feel? Who is there? What are you doing? Imagine it with your mind, journal about it, make a vision board or a Pinterest page. Think of it as creating your family's personal brand. Everything in your home should support this vision at some level.
I have lived with high functioning anxiety my entire life. I often struggle with stress, perfectionism, self-doubt, guilt, and productivity pressure. When I think about my ideal home, it is a place where my family feels relaxed, where my kids are safe to make a mess, and where our space and agenda allow us to do the things we want. I don’t want my kids' memories to include a mom who is fussy and controlling, but someone who models balance and prioritizes self care. This means that at the end of the day, I am available to read them stories and cuddle. I am not distracted by home chores. It means we work together to pick up a mess before starting a new one. And it means we curate what comes into our home, to ensure it stays within a manageable level.
What is your family's brand? What is important? And does your life currently allow for that brand to shine through?
The second component to changing your mindset is to adjust how you think about things. Don’t let marketers make you feel “less than” until you buy their product. You are you. You are not what you own, but rather what you do and how you live. It is not easy to be minimalist in a mass-media world. There are numerous studies that show buying material goods doesn’t lead to long-term happiness, but rather experiences and personal connections tend to bring more lasting satisfaction. Recognize and be grateful for the abundance in your life. Acknowledge that you have so much more than so many people in the world, and that your life's completeness has nothing to do with what you own.
Be a curator for your home
Now that you're in the right headspace, it’s time to talk strategy. Referencing our definition of “home” as “a sanctuary that reflects your identity and supports your lifestyle” you need to think of your home as a sacred and honored space, not a storage locker. Your home is your life gallery, waiting to be curated with the items and memories that reflect your family's brand and values.
Often my clients feel like their things are taking over their homes. In reality, things come into our home because we let them in. Either we buy them, or they’re gifted to us.
Buying things is fun. But nothing should be admitted to your home without extensive questioning:
Will it support the brand for the life I want?
Do I already have something that fulfills the same purpose?
Where will it live?
Who will be responsible for taking care of it/cleaning it/repairing it?
What will happen to it at the end of its life?
Do I need it today? Or can I get it next time?
Ask yourself each of these questions and be honest. Will this item pay rent in your home by adding value to your life, or will it become a squatter? Is it something you need to own or can you enjoy it while it lives somewhere else (like the library, the gym, the museum, or the playground)? If you have this conversation with yourself before every purchase, you will find that everything you buy for your home is something of value and purpose.
When something is gifted to you, you have less control of what enters your home, but you are not powerless. Explain to gifters ahead of holidays why you’re setting boundaries (you don’t have space/ you feel overwhelmed/ the maintenance falls on you and you have too much on your plate). Preemptively provide gift ideas to family members that fit your lifestyle (check out my post on clutter-free gifting!). If gifts still find their way into your home, show gratitude for the thought and be ok letting it go if it isn’t going to serve you. Once given to you, you are responsible for it - whether that’s cherishing the item or letting someone else cherish it by donating it.
Ruthlessly declutter
You’ve changed your mindset and vowed to be a better gatekeeper. Fantastic start! Now it’s time to deal with what’s already here. Whether it’s in a multi-day decluttering marathon, or 10 minutes a day over a full year, pairing down what you already own is the best (and only) way to get to a more organized lifestyle.
Things need to earn their space through function or love. Everything needs a reason to be there (not a hypothetical reason). Some questions to get you started:
When was the last time you used it?
Do you have a specific time in mind when you will use it?
Do you have something you could use instead?
If it was covered in dog poop, would you wash it off, or throw it away?
You usually do not need to keep duplicates. Things don’t get tired and need a break - You can use the same vegetable peeler three times a day without giving it a day off until it falls apart, and then by new one. You don’t need one waiting in the wings. If your vegetable peeler breaks before you’ve purchased the duplicate, well, you'll be OK. Once something has been replaced (a TV, a piece of furniture, your favorite jeans) there is no reason to keep the original. That is the point of a replacement. Save the best and declutter the rest.
Treasured items, memorabilia, and decor should be displayed proudly. If they don’t bring you true joy, why are you letting it take up real estate? When we eliminate remnants of unloved pastimes, uncompleted projects, and unrealistic fantasies, we make room for new and realistic possibilities. Keeping the thing doesn’t mean the project will get done. I have taken quite a bit of flack from my family for getting rid of things too ruthlessly, but I can honestly say that everything in my home is loved for its function or beauty. And things I have discarded often find a new life through donation or recycling.
Assign everything a place
Clutter often accumulates when people don’t know where to return something. When everything has a clearly defined space, anyone can easily find what they’re looking for and can put things away without question. And I mean everything. The toys from last week's birthday goody bags, the promotional pens from your work conference, the holiday decorations you purchased on sale for next year, the extra charging cord that hangs out in the kitchen…everything.
When assigning a place, think about who uses it and how often. Think of your home as having “prime real estate,” “marginal real estate” and “off the beaten path.”
Prime real estate is for what you use most frequently - your toothbrush, your laptop, underwear, your favorite coffee mug. Stuff you want to be able to reach frequently and easily.
Marginal real estate is higher or lower shelves, harder to reach cabinets, or under the bed. This is storage for seasonal items, specialty cookware, and things you generally use less than once a week.
Off the beaten path storage is your basements, garages, and attics (don’t get me started on storage units) and should be reserved for seasonal decorations, old paperwork or tax returns, or things used once a year or less. Keep it lean! If you never look at it, and you have no legal reason to keep it, don’t!
This is where my high functioning anxiety and perfectionism really shines. A professional organizer can help you get detailed! Group like items together, and keep categories specific. For example, instead of “kitchen tools” divide them into “short handled” or “long handled;” separate by type of cuisine or sort by color. It’s easy to assign homes to big things, like shoes, or woodworking tools. Clutter is usually made up of a thousand little things. Everything. Gets. A. Home.
Practice!
My dad always said “to be really good at anything, you need to be kind of obsessed with it.” Obsession can feel like an ugly word, but the sentiment remains: You need to keep at it until it is second nature. What you call obsessed I call motivated. Read books about organization, sign up for professional organizer newsletters, follow organizers on Instagram… seeing organized spaces regularly acts as a reminder and motivator to continue your growth journey.
Establish your home's standard operating procedures for when something (anything) comes into the home. Decide where it will live and who is responsible for it. A couple seconds on the front end may literally save you hours of decluttering later on. Set aside time for the family to return everything to its proper location at the end of the day or week. Continually revisit the vision of your perfect space and the lifestyle you are trying to curate by asking yourself “How does this support my brand?”
Achieving a minimalist lifestyle isn’t about deprivation; it’s about intentionality. It’s about reclaiming your space, your time, and your peace of mind. By changing your mindset, being a thoughtful gatekeeper for your home, and committing to the process of decluttering, you can create a space that truly supports the life you want to live. It’s a journey, and while it may take time and effort, the reward is well worth it: a home that serves as a sanctuary, not a storage unit. So, take the first step today—embrace the power of less and start building the life you’ve always envisioned.
Further reading:
You’re doing it wrong: 5 Reasons why DIY organizing doesn’t last (and how to do it better!)
How to be organized when you share space with a loved one.